“I, Pope Cahbet Erasmus, of the Dead & Risen Kings Cabal in the Land of the Great American Pyramid, do hereby decree and publish the following:
The holiest of Discordian Holy Days is April Fools Day, for reasons which should be known to all the faithful.
The next most holy of Discordian Holy Days is each and every Friday the 13th which occurs during the year, in recognition of the chaos, paranoia, rabid conspiracy theories and modern international banking which resulted from the actions of that ancient Frankish King, the Greyface called Phillip the Fair, by his arrest of the Knights Templar in his realm on a Friday the 13th.
All other Discordian Holy Days are hereby downgraded.
Let the Festival of Friday the 13th commence !
So say we all! So say we all!”
— Smudged Book of So Say We All