While I know that other married men will dispute the claim, I have the most awesome wife in Memphis.
For those who are not familiar with how we came to be a couple, ask me some time why the phrase “Women and hair are not subject to logic. Now shut up, Tim!” was involved.
From that auspicious beginning, how could we fail to have the sort of relationship that makes people wonder if we are arguing when they hear us talking together?
Seriously, she understands me better than I understand myself and she calls me on my B.S. more than all the other people who know me combined. (That last bit is much more important to men than we like to admit.)
I don’t tell her nearly often enough how much I appreciate her and how much she has helped me to be a better person. So, this tribute is my small token of gratitude to her.
We were married in 1993 here in Memphis after dating for over a year. While we have had the usual ups and downs in any relationship, she has been there for me in so many ways and it is truly an honor to have her in my life.
My wife is smart, kind, funny, observant, hard-working, and the soul of our family. Whenever I have a moment of weakness, I think “what would she say if I gave in to this?” and it helps me to be stronger. She has endured more challenges than most and she does so without letting it get her depressed or angry or frustrated to the point of yelling (unlike someone who lives in my mirror).
I say that she is the soul of our family because I was a “dog person” when I met her and did not like cats at all. She laid down the simple rule “Love me, love my cats.” It took a while, but she (and the cats) won me over. As we have lost and gained and lost and gained cats over the years, she reminds us both each time that we lose one — you do not replace a loved one who passes away, but you do let a new one make room for themselves in your heart.
That really sums up how we became such a strong couple — she made room for herself in my heart.
My wife is simply the best person I know. She overcomes the annoyances and challenges of living with me, the struggles of dealing with health issues, and the myriad problems of life in ways that are awe-inspiring.
We share a love of reading, of our family, and of rational thought. We care about politics and religion, but neither of us are partisan about either area. Writing and expressing ourselves with others is part of what bound us together and what continues to do so. For many years, we both have been involved with the largest and oldest science fiction and fantasy convention in Memphis, MidSouthCon.
We will never agree on some things. She finds many of the foods I like “bland” and I find her love of pepper and spices to be overwhelming. My musical tastes are mostly fixed in the 60s and 70s, while she enjoys a wide range of music. She will re-read a book many times, while I almost never do. She is an introvert and I am an extrovert. She works a regular, full-time job, while I have been a freelancer for over a decade. These differences keep our relationship interesting, as they mean that each of us have new things to bring to the other (although I am sure that I get the better end of that since what I bring bores even me at times).
So, please join me in giving HUGE respect and love and support to my wife, Barbara Gatewood.
(We picked this out as Our Song back when we were dating. If we were picking today, I am sure it would be something by Pink.)