Who Am I ? Thoughts on Being A Widow

It struck me again tonight that I’m here alone. No one else lives here, so no one else will do the things I leave for later. 

Am I “No One Else”? 

Who am I now that she’s gone? 

How do I define myself from here on?

Do I even need a set of labels ? It seems woefully inadequate to say I’m a widower, writer, notary public, and so forth. 

These labels and others don’t define me so much as they provide filters for other people to use in limiting what parts of me they see. 

Many wise people have said that what matters is what you do, not who you are. I’ve come to see this as action counts for more than any static definition. There’s a good bit of truth in that, or so it seems to me.

So, I am what I do. I’m the one doing the things that need to be done, from the humdrum and daily mundane chores & errands to the actions and services that may help to make a life better. 

This blog is called Minister Is A Verb for a reason. It’s all about taking action to help the living. Right now, the living mostly means me and my cats, with a few customers and clients and friends thrown into the mix. 

Losing her left many holes in my life. As I learn the map of this new land, this widowhood, I am determined to be the one who acts and gets things done — and for this to extend to a growing circle of life. 

So, no, I am not “no one else” — I am the someone who acts.