Imaginary Conversation with My Wife

Imaginary Conversation with My Wife
23 February 2017

Me: I love the cats, but…
Her: Yes
Me: But the thing I hate the most about them is cat barf.
Her: Really? That’s the one thing you hate the most about having cats?
Me: Okay. I hate them getting sick and my having to subject them to all sorts of indignities that they don’t understand and sometimes it seems to make them more miserable.
Her: So, cat barf is number two?
Me: No, I hate to see them suffer, whether it’s because they are sick or because I’m trying to help them with matted fur or whatever.
Her: Got it. No sickness or suffering. Anything else that’s worse than barf?
Me: Okay, biting. I hate it when one of them bites me. That is painful.
Her: So, barfing is number three, then.
Me: Scratches aren’t any fun, either, but those are definitely below cat barf in terms of awfulness.
Her: So, it’s sickness, suffering, biting, barf, scratching. That’s your list?
Me: Oh, the absolute worst is them dying. I still get emotional over every one of the five who have passed away.
Her: So, what you’re saying is barfing is the fifth worst thing you can think of about cats.
Me: Yes. I suppose I am.
Her: Just out of curiosity, what is the fifth worst thing you can think of about me?
Me: The only bad thing I can think of about you is that you are no longer here with me, so this conversation is just imaginary.


Gertie cat in the tub

(The books on dealing with loss say that grief is an emotion; it’s how you feel. Mourning is how you express that feeling. So, I hope you will see this as part of my mourning, not as me going mental. 😀

About Tim Gatewood

60+, male, widowed/single. Writer with a day job. Notary Public. #catdaddy Science fiction and fantasy fan, avid reader, Founder of the Darrell Awards. Author of _Getting Started As A Notary Signing Agent_ (available from Please be kind to one another.
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5 Responses to Imaginary Conversation with My Wife

  1. Brenda Stone says:

    This was actually pretty funny. Nothing mental about it at all. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines – My Daily Musing – Br Andrew's Muses

  3. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines – My Daily Musing

  4. Betcha didn't know! says:


    Liked by 1 person

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