Grief is what you feel when you lose a loved one. Mourning is how you express those feelings. I read that in a book last year and it stuck with me. I leave it to you, the readers, to decide whether this piece qualifies as mourning.
Barbara Gatewood & I were married for almost 23 years. She passed away over a year ago. Her birthday was last week (on July 8th); she would have been 63. Losing her has left so many dangling threads where there used to be a shared life, woven together.
A few days ago, I decided to stop wearing my wedding ring and accept that I’m single now. Tonight, I moved the books and other materials on grieving and related matters from a low shelf (easier to reach, harder to see) to a high shelf (the reverse of both). Maybe I’ll finally read some of them soon.
Will I date again? Who knows? I enjoyed having a friend staying with me for most of this past year. Now that they are gone, I’m enjoying being alone with just me and my five cats. I’m working on moving on, but it is a daily effort to let go and embrace the situation.
I was lucky that Barbara and I found each other, as dating was never my strong suit. I need to move into a different place (mentally and, maybe, physically) before I even consider dating, as I do not want Barbara’s ghost to be between us.
No one has an easy path these days, whether single or married or somewhere in between.