As an American who had ancestors who fought for the Confederacy and a Southerner whose family roots in the South go back for over 200 years, I am aware of the history of the Civil War, what led up to it, and its aftermath.
So, when people talk about a battle flag that was only used by a few units and was never the symbol of the South as a whole until the Dixiecrats used it to rally racists to oppose the end of Jim Crow laws as the federal government finally stepped up and began enforcing the 14th Amendment, well, my response is simple:
If your heritage is one that includes owning other people, it’s a vile heritage and should cause you to be ashamed of your ancestors, not proud of them.
If your heritage is one that includes the KKK, Jim Crow laws, and Southern Citizen Councils, it’s a vile heritage, not one you should be proud of.
If your heritage is anything that makes you believe it’s ever a good idea to carry or wear symbols or slogans of the Nazi Party in public for any purpose other than a reenactment, your heritage is vile and should make you ashamed.
If your cherished flag is one that’s regularly waved by those who also wave a Nazi flag and/or by groups that allow members of the KKK to be among its officers (I’m looking at you, Sons of Confederate Veterans), you can’t claim it’s about anything except racism and white supremacy and the anti-American ideology that we fought a World War over.
The point is that you don’t celebrate the vile parts of your heritage. Admit them, accept them, but don’t “honor” them if by doing so you give aid and comfort to racists and Nazis and other enemies of America.
Throw those rags that represent the losers of America’s wars into the trash where they belong. Leave the mistakes of the past in the past. Your side lost a long time ago. Get over it.